How to Write Badly Well

Post by **Philondra** » 12 Nov 2009, 13:16

This is my favorite new blog. The guy running it make defines the topic (always related to horrible mistakes people make when writing) and then whips up a quick passage giving an example of that mistake taken to horrible, horrible extremes.

It's hilarious the way that bad writing becomes good when taken to excess, and I have it bookmarked for speedy reading. Take a look at the most recent one if you have any interest at all in language use:

http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2009 ... se-to.html

Post by **midi** » 13 Nov 2009, 12:00

She manipulated the garment in a cogitative mode.
‘Hmm,’ she vocalised. ‘This attire is verifiably marvellous. What is it constituted from?’
‘From the most meritorious velveteen,’ defined her interlocutor, simpering coincidentally.
‘Is it?’ iterated the party of the first part. ‘That’s felicitous.’
‘Additionally, this specified object has the property of being subdivided in terms of its defining mercantile characteristic, and can be taken possession of for the diminutive quantity of merely a half-dozen currency units,’ the retail employee informed.
‘Exoneration?’ supplicated the protagonist appropriately. The commercial tertiary sector worker eyeballed her perspicaciously.
‘I said it’s five ninety-nine. Do you want it or not?’

#1. LOL!
#2. I see this all the time in the IT field. Bamboozle your manager with as so many different versions of the same thing until his mind is goo.

Post by **Cartollomew** » 13 Nov 2009, 12:48

midi wrote:#1. LOL!
#2. I see this all the time in the IT field. Bamboozle your manager with as so many different versions of the same thing until his mind is goo.

I see this all the time with people who are trying to appear smarter than they are.

Except in this case, those constipated words were used (at least somewhat) correctly.

Edit:
Knowing big words does not make you smart in any case. And by the same token, not knowing them doesn't make you stupid.

Post by **Mews** » 13 Nov 2009, 13:14

On a sort of related note, my favourite words to slip into conversations;
1. Bamboozled
2. Tomfoolery
3. Shenanigans
4. Eclectic

Post by **Cartollomew** » 13 Nov 2009, 13:16

Mews wrote:On a sort of related note, my favourite words to slip into conversations;
1. Bamboozled
2. Tomfoolery
3. Shenanigans
4. Eclectic

People don't use the word "abreast" often enough.

Or "frippery", but that's just my Wodehouse fetish coming through.

Post by **Philondra** » 13 Nov 2009, 13:19

It's not quite "abreast", but I've always liked to use "titillated".

Post by **Mews** » 13 Nov 2009, 13:36

You're dead to me Phil.

Post by **Philondra** » 13 Nov 2009, 13:47

Mews wrote:You're dead to me Phil.

Would you settle for a nice pair of tits?

Magdelena · Post by **Magdelena** » 18 Nov 2009, 17:59

Awwww. Noone said rectitude.

I remember having brain death writing an essay at uni because I was aghast that analyse actually DOES start with ANAL.
Like eeewww, don't want to be analysed kthnxbai.

Post by **Cartollomew** » 18 Nov 2009, 18:29

Magdelena wrote:Awwww. Noone said rectitude.

I remember having brain death writing an essay at uni because I was aghast that analyse actually DOES start with ANAL.
Like eeewww, don't want to be analysed kthnxbai.

You should talk to an Analytical Therapist about that...

Magdelena · Post by **Magdelena** » 19 Nov 2009, 08:18

LOLzzz!!!

Post by **Toriigate** » 24 Feb 2010, 14:41

Like write-badly-well but for graphic designers? Photoshop Disasters.

http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/ ... -left.html

My wife recently showed me this site and somehow made a neuron connection to this post.

Post by **Philondra** » 24 May 2010, 02:42

Here are my two favorites from this site. It's completely magical!

Improve the online visibility of your fiction through the careful use of keywords

Fighting for breath, Britney Bin Laden sprinted away from the collapsing building with all the speed of a get rich quick scheme or celebrity nipple slip. A massive explosion tore seductively through the virgin wall behind her, a wall which was eighteen years old and ready for fun.
Yikes, thought Britney, this is certainly exclusive breaking news which might well affect current stock prices. Just then, a truck carrying cheap pharmaceutical goods veered off the road, narrowly missing her. That could have killed me, thought Britney, her life flashing before her eyes like a free bootleg movie download. There are so many things I regret. I wish I had won top prizes at an online Euro-Casino, or talked to more singles in my area.
‘Britney!’ someone shouted. She squinted through the smoke. It was her friend and lover, Jesus Michael Jackson-Obama-Sextape. ‘Are you okay?’ he said, offering her coupon codes for genuine software downloads.

Abuse Alliteration

Charismatic charity chairman Charlie Chung chastised chain-smoking charwoman Charlotte Chambers.
‘Charlotte,’ chattered Charlie. ‘Chaste, childless Charlotte. Charmlessly choking choirs, chomping chorizo chunks, chanting chancel charivaris.’ Charlie chronicled Charlotte’s chronic cheek. ‘Change, Charlotte, change!’
‘Ch!’ chuckled chubby Charlotte. ‘Change? Charlatan Charlie Chung champions change? Charming!’
‘Charlotte,’ Charlie chided. Charlotte chewed chillingly.
‘Choose Christ,’ challenged chagrined Charlotte, channelling Chaplin’s chutzpah.

Molotov

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