The effects of Porn on Relationships

[Cartollomew]

Ugh... Marie Claire is hardly the publication I'd be going to for useful relationship studies, but nonetheless, it caught my eye:

http://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/b/marie-c ... n-adultery

So thoughts?

The main thing that strikes me as "off" about the story is the fact that there was no sexual tension or fulfilment in the relationship prior to the marriage.

That doesn't ring alarm bells?

Just because a couple (for whatever reason) agree not to have sex prior to a particular point, doesn't mean they shouldn't want to have sex.

To put it another way:
You don't marry someone who isn't interested in bangin' you. If you're in a relationship that is serious enough that you're even contemplating marriage, and yet either one of you isn't interested in sexy times, then perhaps marriage isn't for you.

In other words, I don't see that the story satisfactorily illustrates the concept that "porn is adultery".

[Vampirial]

I'd agree with you cart. Even though I'm still with my first ever boyfriend if you don't have good sex the relationship is going to fail. Sure there is other factors too but sex is such a huge part of human nature that the passion has to be in there somewhere to at least start with - unless your one of those people that had love at first sight - most people pick those that are just attractive sexually to them.

But porn being cheating? Seems more like find out about your damn partner before you married them. I'd ask that question how long was your relationship before you married? So many people just jump right in there (and no offense to people that believe no sex to marriage but I had a lot of friends in shcool who were good little christians and most of them were married before they were even 20) and when they find out that omg their partner watches porn it disturbs them.

[Cartollomew]

I'd ask that question how long was your relationship before you married? So many people just jump right in there (and no offense to people that believe no sex to marriage but I had a lot of friends in shcool who were good little christians and most of them were married before they were even 20) and when they find out that omg their partner watches porn it disturbs them.

The amount of guilt which interferes with young Christian relationships (in particular) and sexuality is often crippling.

There's a misconception that if having sex prior to marriage is wrong, then using contraception is extra wrong. Couple this with the idea that a baby - or even just sex - necessitates marriage, and you wind up with sad stories ala Bristol Palin (I don't know the details, but similar cases abound, and it's usually a matter of young people who aren't suitable for marriage make mistakes, wind up with a kid and then make the additional mistake of getting hitched - only to suffer more pain in the ensuing divorce).

I really don't understand people who jump into marriage - I can see that it makes sense to them, and I can see situations where the resulting marriages have succeeded. But the successful cases are in the minority.

"Marry in haste, repent at leisure", as my girlfriend's father says.

I suspect a great part of the success of porn and the driving force behind sexualisation in the media is the baggage and guilt that conservative society attaches to sexuality at every step of children's lives. I don't advocate completely irresponsible and consequence free sex, but it's no wonder people are either suffering sex related complexes or winding up hypersexed.

[Philondra]

Won't someone please think of the chil...... chili peppers?