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Re: FML
Posted: 16 Apr 2010, 01:30
by Mews
http://www.bash.org/?919845
<@Ricky> According to BBC News, the father of the Nigerian who attempted to blow up the Delta airliner whilst approaching Detroit had emailed US authorities to warn them about his son's extreme anti American views. This man happened to be a very wealthy banker.
<@Ricky> You can imagine the email arriving at the US Government's offices:
<@Ricky> Good afternoon, I am a wealthy Nigerian banker....
Re: FML
Posted: 29 Apr 2010, 10:42
by Mews
Today, I was exhausted and sleep-deprived. I packed my 14 year old son's lunch. He just called me and told me I packed him a Bud Light instead of a Pepsi. FML
Re: FML
Posted: 29 Apr 2010, 14:03
by Mitra
I'm more alarmed that americans pack "soda" for lunches....
Re: FML
Posted: 03 May 2010, 08:29
by Karjalan
Mitra wrote:I'm more alarmed that americans pack "soda" for lunches....
Soda
Candy
Mc'donalds
Bud lite (lol light beer)
Deep fried X
The 5 staple food groups.
Re: FML
Posted: 21 May 2010, 16:39
by Lellybaby
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
Re: FML
Posted: 25 May 2010, 19:52
by Johnnyrico
ahahahahahaha
oo lel nice profile pic!
Re: FML
Posted: 11 Jun 2010, 23:42
by Karjalan
Not exactly FML, but it should be
Re: FML
Posted: 12 Jun 2010, 00:05
by Karjalan
Re: FML
Posted: 12 Jun 2010, 01:00
by Cartollomew
That is simply the best expression for that scenario.
Re: FML
Posted: 14 Jun 2010, 10:47
by Mews
Today, I found a picture of my little sister giving my best friend a handjob during my last birthday party. FML
Awesome.
Re: FML
Posted: 06 Jul 2010, 16:13
by Mews
(A customer approaches the service counter.)
Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Is this the real life?”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “Is this just fantasy?”
Me: *catching on* “Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.”
Customer: “D*** it! I was trying to prank you! You shouldn’t know what I’m doing!”
Me: “Doesn’t really matter to me, to meeee.”
Customer: “F*** you!” *storms off*
http://notalwaysright.com
Re: FML
Posted: 09 Jul 2010, 14:45
by Stabbie
My super fav of these websites
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/
Have a good read.
Ps both fml and tfln have iPhone apps for free
Stabbie
Shadow steps to techno music.
Re: FML
Posted: 14 Jul 2010, 02:28
by Takius
Me: “Welcome to [Smoothie Store]! How can I help you today?”
Customer: “Good morning to you! I need the large blueberry please.”
Me: “Alright sir, Ill get those started for you. What kind of free boost would you like in your smoothies?”
Customer: “You know what my favorite and the best boost of all is?”
Me: “No sir, I don’t. I’m sorry.”
Customer: “Jesus.”
Me: “Oh, haha. You would like a Jesus boost?”
Customer: “Why yes, I like to boost my day with Jesus everyday! mAre you filled with the light, have you accepted Christ into your life?”
Me: “Yes sir, I have. So what boost would you like in your smoothie?”
Customer: “I told you already.”
Me: “I’m sorry sir, looks like were fresh out of Jesus today.”
Customer: “Oh that’s too bad. I’ll just have the whey protein, then.”
I'll admit I was thinking something a LOT dirtier half way through reading this.
Re: FML
Posted: 15 Jul 2010, 16:15
by Lellybaby
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
Re: FML
Posted: 18 Jul 2010, 16:11
by Mews
(I was closing one night, and it was slow. A nervous-looking man came in and went to go order his drink.)
Me: “Hi, welcome to ****! What can I get for you this evening?”
Customer: “Um…yes. Can I get a coffee?”
Me: “OK, anything else tonight?”
Customer: “Yes…” *takes out piece of paper* “An iced venti unsweetened black tea.”
Me: “OK, your total is $4.30.”
Customer: *frowns* “How much is the iced tea?”
Me: “It’s $2.28…do you want me to take it off?”
Customer: “No…you see, I’m on a blind date. My date told me that her regular drink at **** was this iced tea…and also that the price of the iced tea is her weight.”
