FML

What sort of sandwiches do you have?
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Mews
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Re: FML

Post by Mews » 16 Apr 2010, 01:30

http://www.bash.org/?919845
<@Ricky> According to BBC News, the father of the Nigerian who attempted to blow up the Delta airliner whilst approaching Detroit had emailed US authorities to warn them about his son's extreme anti American views. This man happened to be a very wealthy banker.
<@Ricky> You can imagine the email arriving at the US Government's offices:
<@Ricky> Good afternoon, I am a wealthy Nigerian banker....
Having an abundance of platonic relationships reminiscent of my man, Mike Plato.

All that's left is a beautiful hour
And it's ours, ours.


The pale blue dot.

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Mews
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Re: FML

Post by Mews » 29 Apr 2010, 10:42

Today, I was exhausted and sleep-deprived. I packed my 14 year old son's lunch. He just called me and told me I packed him a Bud Light instead of a Pepsi. FML
Having an abundance of platonic relationships reminiscent of my man, Mike Plato.

All that's left is a beautiful hour
And it's ours, ours.


The pale blue dot.

Mitra
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Re: FML

Post by Mitra » 29 Apr 2010, 14:03

I'm more alarmed that americans pack "soda" for lunches....
"Life is no Nintendo game / But you lied again / Now you get to watch her leave / Out the window / Guess that's why they call it window pane" -Eminem 'Love the way you lie' - Award for Excellence in Puns in the medium of Rap 2010

Karjalan
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Re: FML

Post by Karjalan » 03 May 2010, 08:29

Mitra wrote:I'm more alarmed that americans pack "soda" for lunches....
Soda
Candy
Mc'donalds
Bud lite (lol light beer)
Deep fried X

The 5 staple food groups.
"2+2 is 4"
Barney, the Dinosaur

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Lellybaby
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Re: FML

Post by Lellybaby » 21 May 2010, 16:39

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
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Juke a DK/Warrior, Die Anyway ._.

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Johnnyrico
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Re: FML

Post by Johnnyrico » 25 May 2010, 19:52

ahahahahahaha


oo lel nice profile pic!
Mews wrote:No Rico, it's a rhetorical question.
8?

Karjalan
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Re: FML

Post by Karjalan » 11 Jun 2010, 23:42

Image

Not exactly FML, but it should be
"2+2 is 4"
Barney, the Dinosaur

Karjalan
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Re: FML

Post by Karjalan » 12 Jun 2010, 00:05

Image
"2+2 is 4"
Barney, the Dinosaur

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Cartollomew
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Re: FML

Post by Cartollomew » 12 Jun 2010, 01:00

That is simply the best expression for that scenario.
Who do you think you are? If you'd stopped winning, you could have been the Biggest Loser, if you gave up, you could have been a Survivor, if you'd stopped reading Orwell, you could have been on Big Brother!

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Mews
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Re: FML

Post by Mews » 14 Jun 2010, 10:47

Today, I found a picture of my little sister giving my best friend a handjob during my last birthday party. FML
Awesome.
Having an abundance of platonic relationships reminiscent of my man, Mike Plato.

All that's left is a beautiful hour
And it's ours, ours.


The pale blue dot.

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Mews
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Re: FML

Post by Mews » 06 Jul 2010, 16:13


(A customer approaches the service counter.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Is this the real life?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Is this just fantasy?”

Me: *catching on* “Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.”

Customer: “D*** it! I was trying to prank you! You shouldn’t know what I’m doing!”

Me: “Doesn’t really matter to me, to meeee.”

Customer: “F*** you!” *storms off*
http://notalwaysright.com
Having an abundance of platonic relationships reminiscent of my man, Mike Plato.

All that's left is a beautiful hour
And it's ours, ours.


The pale blue dot.

Stabbie
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Re: FML

Post by Stabbie » 09 Jul 2010, 14:45

My super fav of these websites

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

Have a good read.

Ps both fml and tfln have iPhone apps for free

Stabbie
Shadow steps to techno music.

Takius
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Re: FML

Post by Takius » 14 Jul 2010, 02:28

Me: “Welcome to [Smoothie Store]! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Good morning to you! I need the large blueberry please.”

Me: “Alright sir, Ill get those started for you. What kind of free boost would you like in your smoothies?”

Customer: “You know what my favorite and the best boost of all is?”

Me: “No sir, I don’t. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Jesus.”

Me: “Oh, haha. You would like a Jesus boost?”

Customer: “Why yes, I like to boost my day with Jesus everyday! mAre you filled with the light, have you accepted Christ into your life?”

Me: “Yes sir, I have. So what boost would you like in your smoothie?”

Customer: “I told you already.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, looks like were fresh out of Jesus today.”

Customer: “Oh that’s too bad. I’ll just have the whey protein, then.”
I'll admit I was thinking something a LOT dirtier half way through reading this.
Once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.

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Lellybaby
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Re: FML

Post by Lellybaby » 15 Jul 2010, 16:15

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
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Juke a DK/Warrior, Die Anyway ._.

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Mews
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Re: FML

Post by Mews » 18 Jul 2010, 16:11


(I was closing one night, and it was slow. A nervous-looking man came in and went to go order his drink.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to ****! What can I get for you this evening?”

Customer: “Um…yes. Can I get a coffee?”

Me: “OK, anything else tonight?”

Customer: “Yes…” *takes out piece of paper* “An iced venti unsweetened black tea.”

Me: “OK, your total is $4.30.”

Customer: *frowns* “How much is the iced tea?”

Me: “It’s $2.28…do you want me to take it off?”

Customer: “No…you see, I’m on a blind date. My date told me that her regular drink at **** was this iced tea…and also that the price of the iced tea is her weight.”
Having an abundance of platonic relationships reminiscent of my man, Mike Plato.

All that's left is a beautiful hour
And it's ours, ours.


The pale blue dot.

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