Recent Success in the War on Terror,Hispanic Support Doubled
Posted: 18 Apr 2008, 12:16
The "Molotovians", an unexpectedly elite team of Mexican troops were sent in to the Sunwell Plateau at 2130 to eliminate a threat the government so adequately described as a "crazy blue thing that very possibly has weapons of mass destruction". Pressured by their already over troubled northern neighbors, the Mexican elite force entered and eliminated the threat by 2300 in an operation so covertly tagged by the US operations center as "Operation Win-Win". Casualties were sure to be high, but so was confidence as the well seasoned team of fence jumpers and river crossers entered the domain with ease. Lots of support has sprouted for the 1st Regiment of the Care Bear Brigade, the Molotovians, who needless to say were successful at eliminating the threat.
For three straight weeks teams of new recruits from the south have been sent in to "cushion the load" for the upcoming US invasion. Rounds of defeat seemed disheartening until very recently. When asked about Mexican success in the Sunwell, US Army General Plastique refused to comment, but was later found to have stated that such quick success was "surprising". A wounded member of a previous invasive attempt stated that the new addition of enchilada and cheese MREs were particularly morale-raising.
Although we are unsure of all that goes on in the military machine, we do have word that scouts have been sent further into the plateau to verify the existence weapons of mass destruction, especially after finding remnants of aluminum tubes and yellow cake, both historically known to be reagents of things that go boom. Our hopes and prayers now go out to the brave members of the Alpha and Bravo squadrons, lead by First Lieutenants Ratholorn(Rabia Gringo) and Midi(Chico), so affectionately named by their comrades.
We at CNN would like to remind you that the units of the Mexican Army are completely supported by the US Military, and provided with everything they need to make a difference. If you would like to contribute to the cause, purchase a 100,000,000 Peso war bond (US $50 equivalent) at your local bank so that one day these troops can be further strengthened by shoes, uniforms, weapons, and ammunition provisions.
Remember fellas and gals, if you don't support our troops, you are a commie bitch, and deserve to die. Never question, always follow, and for God's sake don't vote for Hillary.
CNN News Reporter
Repu B. Lican